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Top 5 Badass Movie Kids: Who Would Likely Win The Hunger Games?

As you may have heard of – unless you have been living in a cave for the past 6 months – Catching Fire – the second opus of The Hunger Games franchise – is to be released in a few weeks. The film will actually hit London first on the 11th of November. The dystopian sci-fi first movie does feature kids killing each other on live television. As cruel as it sounds, it may be the most accurate portrayal of what could become reality-TV if broadcasters keep going in the direction they’re headed. For the upcoming release of this disturbing follow-up directed by Francis Lawrence, we came up with the Top 5 Badass Kids in Movies. Who do you think would win in this bloodbath?

5. Simon – Mercury Rising (1998)

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Simon Lynch (Miko Hughes) is this autistic genius who threatened U.S. National Security in Mercury Rising. The 9-year-old solves a puzzle only to discover it was hiding a government secret code. Bad government guys are obviously on to him and they send a hitman to get rid of the boy. That’s when Simon teams up with FBI Agent Art Jeffries (Bruce Willis) to escape from this situation.

Simon might not be big on sword fights but he could probably pierce your eardrums with his scream and come up with an ingenious scheme to get rid of the other kids in the Hunger Games arena. This boy who screwed up U.S. National Security could probably be able to fight off a few kids with bows and arrows.

4. Hayley – Hard Candy (2005)

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Hayley (Ellen Page) is the modern Little Red Riding Hood. In Hard Candy, she tracks down a pedophile to make him pay for his crimes. All it takes is a few weeks to seduce the man over the internet, agree to meet him in a café and Hayley manages to get invited to his place and makes us forget who the real predator is.

Hayley is the master of convincing and uses elaborate plans. She isn’t scared of blood and she can handle a scalpel, a rope, or a gun. Hayley is used to attacking adults. Sure enough, a bunch of kids wouldn’t do her a lot of harm.

3. Rufio – Hook (1991)

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Rufio (Dante Basco) is the leader of the Lost Boys. He took over the gang when Peter Pan left Neverland to become an adult. He is a kickass skateboarder who knows his way around a golden sword and has killed several pirates during his adventures.

We all know Rufio’s tragic fate but if he had another chance and was thrown in the arena, he would certainly not blow it. He may not be able to fly but nobody can in The Hunger Games. He could challenge Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) at climbing trees. The guy lives in them! He’s also very good at cursing.

2. Wednesday Addams – The Addams Family (1991)

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Wednesday (Christina Ricci) is a deadpan kid with a passion for deadly weapons. She spends a lot of time terrorizing other kids and trying to kill her brother as part of her sick games.

That little homicidal maniac isn’t afraid of anything or anyone. Death is her favorite extra-curricular activity. She feeds on other people’s fear. If no electric chair is available in the arena, she will probably be able to come up with a lethal use of any item around her. Wednesday wouldn’t just kill the kids though, she would torture them until they die. Otherwise, where’s the fun?

1. Mathilda – Léon: The Professional (1994)

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Mathilda (Natalie Portman) is so adorable that she could seduce any kid in the arena to team up with her and probably shoot them in the head at the first opportunity. After all, she learned from the best. Mathilda was trained to be a 12-year-old hitman by Léon (Jean Réno), the best in his field. Even though he hasn’t trained her to master the bow and arrow, she’d be good at using anything with a trigger. A crossbow would do.

So who do you think would challenge Katniss Everdeen the most?

Enjoy the trailer of Catching Fire until it hits your theaters in November!

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Tags : Catching Firehunger games
Laura Menegazzo

The author Laura Menegazzo

Laura is a Vancouver-based sarcasm aficionado. She volunteers in the active Hollywood North indie movie scene and by night becomes The Squeerelist - her Film Critic split personality. Until she makes her own feature-film starring both Jennifers from Kentucky, she judges other people’s work. Currently grieving an ending 8-year-relationship with Dexter the series, Laura finds comfort in kettle corn. Twitter : @TheSqueerelist // Website : www.squeerelist.blogspot.com