When you’re sick of using the same old swear words, what better place to learn a new cussing-lingo than cinema? Over the years we have been treated to some zingers, and it is only fair that we pay homage to the vicious vocabulary that has cemented itself into the cinematic history.
The Film: The Wizard of Oz (1939)
The Insult: “You clinking clanking clattering collection of collagenous junk!”
The Wizard of Oz is an all-time great: the costumes, the music, the colour, the story. And it’s insults. I mean, all the Tin Man wanted was a heart! Is that so much to ask!
The Film: ¡Three Amigos! (1986)
The Insult: “You son of a motherless goat!”
The Western genre has always given us some great one-liner insults, but this western-comedy takes a slightly different approach to the art of the insult.
The Film: A Clockwork Orange (1971)
The Insult: “Thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil!”
The film is renowned for its colourful use of language, and when you’re about to punch somebody in their ‘yarbles’, it’s best to get in there first with an original cuss.
The Film: In The Loop (2009)
The Insult: “Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on the end of your purview and ram it up the shitter with a lubricated horse cock.”
Malcolm Tucker (Peter Capaldi), the king of the insult. Created by satirical genius Armando Iannucci, this is only one of the endless expletives that Tucker reels off in a machine-gun quick lyrical fashion.
The Film: In Bruges (2008)
The Insult: “You’re an inanimate fucking object!”
Ralph Fiennes has played some intimidating roles in the past, and he certainly isn’t someone you want to piss off. I can imagine most people wanting to do this after screaming ‘yes’ in perfect pronunciation down the phone to some computerised, robotic, patronisingly annoying answering machine asking you to ‘please repeat that’.
The Film: Coming to America (1988)
The Insult: “You sweat from a baboon’s balls.”
Coming to America didn’t exactly have critical success after its release, with many critics blaming its poor script and dialogue. I think they should suck it because with one-liners like this, it’s going to be a good movie!
The Film: The Women (1939)
The Insult: “Never mind dear, chin up. That’s right, both of them.”
Before censorship relaxed it’s choking clutch on cinema, scriptwriters would have to get creative with their insults. As much as it is great to have a loosened, more liberal censorship in the modern day, a cuss word could never replace these buoyantly beautiful slurs.
The Film: Anchorman (2004)
The Insult: “Where did you get those clothes? At the…toilet store?”
Anchorman is one of those films that you can quote in day-to-day life. If you enjoyed the film, then you have definitely slipped one of its amazingly quirky quips into your everyday life. And if you feel tired of them, the Anchorman: The Legend Continues is out this year! Whammy!
The Film: Planet of the Apes (1968)
The Insult: “Take your stinkin’ paws off me you damn dirty ape!”
An absolute classic that paved the way for many more ‘Ape’ films, including 2011’s Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Even in a hundred years, this line will still be getting quoted. Maybe by ape’s themselves!
The Film: Black Dynamite (2009)
The Insult: “Do you see where I’m coming from you jive motherfuker!”
A black-sploitation movie to end them all. Its ridiculous concept gives it perfect creative freedom to rip its way into any circumstance it likes, and this line is one of a thousand great verbal metaphors, puns and insults in the movie. If you haven’t seen it, you need to!
Did we miss any of your favourites? Share yours in the comments section below: